In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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