I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We got so high we made milksteak
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
