'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize