Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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