I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So. Much. Porn.
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