I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
