I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
