no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
