If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
