Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
