No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
