i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
