when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
