My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
