Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
