a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
