I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I checked into jail on foursquare
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
