Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
