It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
