I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize