remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
