i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
