Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
