The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
