Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
