Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
why didn't you poke me back
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
