I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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