Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
