Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
