Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize