She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
