yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
