In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
