They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
