About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
