Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize