she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize