Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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