Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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