On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Please, let me fuck your mom
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had sex on a roof
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
