You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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