who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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