Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
