I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Its about making memories worth repressing
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
