i always forget guys have bellybuttons
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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