I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That accounts for only three of the penises
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize