this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
