don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
