I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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