your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize