duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
