I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
