remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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