Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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