I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
