yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
