I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
