I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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