just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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