id be glad to
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
