My brain says no but my pants say off.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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