But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
