I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
