Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
