And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
