guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
