I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Swine flu. Run for my life!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
