Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
