i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think I am morally bankrupt
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
