Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
