mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how can u be prego again
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
