it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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